To A Special Person

These days, I keep introspecting over our relationship.
I really tried hard to figure out what happened, but what I figured out is that I am, yeah, kind of in love with you.
You remember that psychology test for liking and loving?
I lied to you.
I lied to you because I don't understand myself and this affection I've never experienced before.
The result was actually "I love you, but I don't like you."
However, I thought I wasn't into you and stabbed you that I loved you but I wasn't in love with you.
This is totally a mistake.
I confess now that I'm really in love with you, which is unfortunately the last thing I'd say to you.
What I can do now is...
I make a promise to myself, secretly, for you.
Maybe after a few years, we'll probably meet each other again.
At that time, we'd be totally different, or maybe, only a little things change.
Then, we'll fall in love with each other again---a new love lasting for the rest of our lives.
I'm sorry for you.
I'm sorry for both of us.
Well, I love you, and I really do.
But I can't fight anymore for you.
I don't know maybe we'll be together again sometime in another life.
But the pain is done, so we still have to go on.
Just let time soothe our pain and see what happens.

我對宗教的想法

宗教...真是個有趣的現象...
根據國中課本,可以發現:人類文化發展和宗教觀念的發展是息息相關的
宗教甚至在人類史前文明的早期就開始占有一席之地
至於我個人...不會去反對這種東西
但是當我上大學後有了被教會的人死纏爛打的經驗之後
我真的忍不住手癢要寫下這幾句個人見解:
宗教 在我的認知裡
呈現了一種自我的面向
有點像Freud的superego
有道德超脫,甚至有超能力的感覺
甚至可以說是人生追求的目標
一個典範.一種可能
這就是為甚麼
每當教會的人費盡心思跟我說明請God進入我心來使我的人生計畫得以實現時
我都會回嗆:
喔?我就這樣把王位讓給他嗎?為啥沒有我跟他談判的空間?"我"才是實現人生計畫的重點人物吧!"我"才是God的化身吧(以人生計畫的觀點來說)
唉...只能說
這些宗教狂熱份子的智慧是我無法理解的:P